23 Lessons I Wish I Had Learned Before 23

Jiha Emen
8 min readDec 20, 2020

I will be turning 24 this October 2 and it’s funny to say that not too long ago, I would have never thought that I would be in a position where I am now.

I am extremely grateful for so many lessons I learned along the way and let me share them with you below.

Be Self-Reliant

This is the lesson I had to learn early on as a breadwinner.

Learn to be independent because no one is going to come and save you.

It’s your responsibility to make yourself happy, healthy, and rich.

Start becoming self-accountable because it’s where true power lies.

When you accept that you are the owner of your own life, you become unstoppable in becoming someone you always dreamed of.

Be Careful of Who You Listen To

Social media has opened our world to a lot of gurus, coaches, and mentors who teach this and that.

Yes, you might be learning from them but always remember that just because it works for them doesn’t mean it will also work for you.

Listen to those people you are more aligned with and are willing to trade lives with.

By doing so you’ll save yourself years of confusing and time-wasting.

Self-Awareness is Very Important

If there’s one thing I want you to study and learn first, it is your very own self.

Here’s a full article if you want to become more self-aware and know yourself better.

Knowing your tendencies, your personality traits, your strengths, your weaknesses, and your unique gifts and talents is very important.

These will serve as your guide in almost every decision you make in your life.

Check out some personality tests like Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, DISC Test, The Enneagram to give basic information about who you are as a person based on answers.

Be as honest as possible and see if it resonates with you or not.

You are On Time

You will always be on time when you focus on your timeline.

But when you always compare it to your peers, you would either be early or late.

Learn how to work on your goals and dreams in your life at your own pace.

The comparison will only hurt you in the process if you keep doing it.

Take Good Care of Your Health

If you start to take care of your body now, it will thank you massively in the future.

Your health is your #1 asset. Without it, you are absolutely nothing.

“Health is Wealth” may sound cliche but it is a truth and it will always be the truth.

If you are really on a mission to become the best version of yourself, it’s a prerequisite to exercise 3x a week, fuel your body with healthy and nutritious food, and sleep 7–8 hours a day.

Success Leaves Clues

In today’s world, almost anything that you love to achieve in life is possible.

There’s a lot of books, free information online, and mentors/coaches that you can leverage to get the success that you want.

One of the best ways to get it is to model those people that are already successful in whatever it is that you want to do.

Be resourceful, do your own research, and take massive action.

Be Bold and Strong

Losing a father at the age of 19, I had no choice but to teach myself to toughen up.

You can either play the victim or you can rise, face your struggles, and develop a mindset that is capable of helping you go through life.

At the end of the day, you only have yourself to depend on.

In my case, my loved ones depend on me so I have to embrace boldness and never let my weakness dominate me.

Set Goals for Yourself

The only goals you must achieve in your life must only be the goals that you want, not the goals set by your parents, your relatives, or even your peers.

Life is too short to waste your time living somebody else’s narrative.

You must set goals that are relevant and meaningful to you.

The kind of goals that will not only give you massive fulfillment when you achieve them but also the goals that you will enjoy the process going through.

Pick the Right Partner

Choosing my partner now is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life so far.

You taking your time to carefully select someone that you want to be a part of your life will save you a lot of time, heartbreaks, and unnecessary drama.

Choose someone compatible with your personality type, values, goals, and aspirations.

Nothing is easier than having someone who cares for you, loves you, and supports you in the ups and downs of your life.

Sleep at Least 7 Hours a Night

I know you want to stay late at night browsing on the internet, stalking your friends on FB, or watching your favorite drama series but let me tell you it’s not going to be worth it in the long run.

Sleeping is the most underrated health advice yet this one is so important.

When you get a proper amount of sleep at night, you can feel the benefits throughout the day.

It helps you stay focused, productive, and energetic which are all necessary for you to get your task done.

Invest in Self-Development

I can’t forget this line from my favorite podcast “Your level of success seldom exceeds your level of personal development” because this is so true.

Become an avid student of personal development by reading books, getting a mentor, and taking courses around this topic.

I’m sure you will be on your way to become the best version of yourself.

Every penny you invest in your self-growth will be worth it because it won’t only give you powerful insight about yourself but it will also fast track your success in every area of your life; may it be your health, relationships, or business.

Live Below Your Means

It’s easy to blow your money on buying things like clothes, shoes, and all the stuff that you don’t need.

But ask yourself, do you really need these things? Because if not, you might only lead yourself to debt or poverty.

Double or triple check whether you need the item before you buy it.

Think first if you need it or it will end up in the corner of your room collecting dust like other stuff you bought before.

The money you want to spend could go to better places like your emergency fund, your insurance, or your savings for your future business.

Be More Open to New Things

The world is so big and wide for you to explore and for sure, you will never run out of things to discover.

Be more open to new things because it will expand your horizon like you would never believe.

Don’t limit yourself and be open to new possibilities.

Immerse yourself in new ideas, meet new people, read other genres of books, and learn new things that will challenge your current beliefs and knowledge.

Develop High-Income Skills That You Like

There are a lot of skills that can make you more money but it’s important to choose something that you would enjoy developing and would give you more income as well.

It doesn’t make sense to learn to code when you hate it.

Pick a high-income skill that you would like to master and devote time to practice it every day.

After how many years, you will become a master of that skill and you don’t have to worry about employment anymore.

You Don’t Know Everything in Life

This advice teaches you that learning is a lifelong process and that every day, you can learn something from someone.

Acknowledge the fact you can still have a lot to learn so be humble and be open to new lessons.

Since I learned this, I became a voracious student.

I read a lot of books, studied a lot of courses, watched a lot of videos and I can’t thank myself enough for doing all these.

Be Grateful

For me, gratitude is the key to happiness. You can have everything in life (fat bank account, mansion, luxurious cars, etc.)

But if you’re not grateful, you are still poor.

On the other hand, if you don’t have anything I mentioned before, but you are grateful for everything that you have, you are wealthier than most people.

When you are thankful, you become happier, you experience less stress, and you will have more positivity in your life.

Develop Your Social Intelligence

I can’t emphasize enough the power of social intelligence to impact your life for the better.

This is something that I’m still developing but I am already reaping its benefits in my life.

People are social animals. Everything in life involves others so your life will be better if you develop this skill early on.

Build Good Habits

Your success in life is determined by your daily habits.

And as humans, we all do have positive and negative ones.

While in your 20’s, focus on developing good foundations that will set you up for a better future.

Good habits might be hard to do especially doing it consistently but realize that you have the discipline and the determination to push through if you will just allow yourself to.

Laugh More

Life is too short to be miserable. “Laughter is the best medicine” cliché as it may sound but it’s definitely true.

Enjoy life by doing things that make you smile, make you laugh, and make you happy.

Laughter provides us with that great feeling of joy that not only benefits our mood but our overall wellness as well.

Do this every day and believe you will be in a better mood.

Develop Discipline

I know this is easier said than done but you need to discipline yourself if you want to achieve your goals.

Almost all the successful people I know have this discipline to prioritize something that will benefit them in the future over immediate instant gratification.

This is a very underrated topic but I believe this is very crucial if you want to do greater things in life.

Educate Yourself on Peak Performance

One of the best things you can do in your 20’s is to know how to optimize yourself so you can accomplish more than most people.

The benefits of this are endless and you can repeat everything you know as you grow old.

Read books on personal psychology, productivity, personal growth, and your future self will thank you for it.

Read a Lot of Books

I know this has already been mentioned in the previous lesson but I believe this deserves to be here because it changed my life.

When I was at school I pretty much read fiction books but after I graduated college, I’ve been devouring non-fiction books.

Read more about human psychology, personal development, success, health and wellness, and mindset and you will be introduced to great ideas that would change your life for the better.

And if you’re not fond of reading, it’s never too late to start.

Relax

You’re young and you still have a lot of years ahead of you. Enjoy these wonderful years of your life by having fun, trying a bunch of things, making mistakes, and learning as you go along the way.

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Jiha Emen

Personal Growth Junkie. Social Media Manager. ✉jihaemen@gmail.com