How many times have you checked your Facebook and Instagram and compared yourself to others today?
As a generation who spends more of our time on our phones, it’s easy to say that we have 24/7 access to someone’s perfectly curated life on social media.
Seeing that someone has a more successful career, has a prettier face, has bigger boobs, and has more likes can make us all feel like we aren’t enough.
Comparison is a thief of joy because instead of being grateful for what we have, we focus primarily on what’s lacking.
In all honesty, I was quite a competitive person but I only realized it when I was already working on my first job.
I like to excel, to do things a little better, and to make my way to the top.
It has some benefits but I realized later on that I became happier and more fulfilled when I compare myself to myself and not to others.
It accelerated my growth as a person and it also made me develop more sympathy for others.
Let me share with you my favorite ways that can help you to finally stop comparing yourself to others and start focusing on yourself more.
1. Be Aware of the Negative Effects of Comparison to You
One of the reasons why we compare ourselves to others is because we aren’t consciously aware of the negative effects it brings us.
When we compare ourselves to others we automatically see what’s missing on us that can lead to some serious things like self-doubt, anxiety, and even depression.
Comparison deprives us of the opportunity to become grateful for what we have because we concentrate too much on what we don’t have.
Like I mentioned in the introduction, social media is one of the major things that trigger us to compare ourselves to our friends, our colleagues, and others.
Personally, I delete most of the social media apps that I have on my phone and I don’t install them unless I need to.
I also don’t also open my phone first thing in the morning.
I only use it when I’m done with my morning routine and I completed the most important task that I need to do for the day.
Being aware of the ill effects of social media especially on your mental health is the first thing that you can do to eliminate comparison.
2. Stop Yourself
Now that you’re already aware of how comparing yourself to others affects you negatively, the next time you caught yourself in a comparisonitis game, just stop it.
Determine what triggers you to compare yourself (is it when you see someone’s post on social media? or is it when you see your friend buy new stuff that you don’t have?) and make a conscious effort to stop yourself.
I know it’s easier said than done but once you make it a habit, it would be easier to switch your focus.
We all have the power to decide what we can do to make us feel better but we have to be aware first of the things that make us feel bad in the first place.
3. Count Your Blessings and Be Grateful
Sometimes, it’s easier to count what we don’t have than to count what we have, am I right?
Since I’m a very goal-oriented person, I often write down all the goals I want to achieve, all the things I want to have, and all the events I want to experience.
And even though there’s nothing wrong with these, it highlights what’s missing in my life.
So what I did was, create a balance between the two.
As I list down all the things I want to have, I also list down the things I already have.
And you know what? It made me two times happier.
Most of the time it’s easy to neglect our blessing because they’ve been there all along with us.
But when you consciously notice them, you become more grateful.
Do you have a home to protect you from the sun and the rain?
Do you eat 3 times a day?
Do you have your family with you?
Do you have clothes to wear?
Then count all these as your blessings.
So now, instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on everything that you already have.
I guarantee you that you’ll be a more grateful, happier, and more positive human being.
4. Embrace Imperfections
When you compare yourself to others, it motivates you to be better and do better.
In short, it can make you a bit of a competitive or perfectionist.
I am guilty of this because I was a hardcore perfectionist.
But now I focus more on being excellent than being perfect and I believe you should too.
Sometimes perfectionism leads to procrastination because instead of publishing that blog post, you get caught up making it so damn perfect that you haven’t published it.
Focus on progress, not perfection.
Instead of worrying about the perfect article, focus on writing it.
Instead of thinking of becoming fit and healthy, focus on moving your body daily.
At the end of the day, your only competition is yourself so focus on making progress and growing rather than being so perfect.
Perfection is just an illusion anyway.
If you want to know more about how you can overcome perfectionism, I highly recommend you listen to this podcast episode by Erika Cramer. She’s amazing!
5. Focus on Your Own Journey
As I mentioned above, I was somewhat competitive so I tend to look at what others are doing and do my best to make mine better.
Yes, I feel good when I compared myself to those who are doing less than me but I feel terrible when I compared myself to those who are doing more than me.
This happened quite a lot when I started to work as a freelancer.
But this doesn’t happen to me now as often as before.
Comparison is a rabbit hole.
Once you get in, it’s quite difficult to get out because the people you can compare yourself to are endless.
There will always be people who are more good-looking than you, who have nicer careers than you, who are richer than you.
So my suggestion is to focus on your journey and be more mindful of the path you’re taking instead of checking what others’ paths look like.
If you have a certain goal in life, focus on how you’re going to achieve it.
Focus on the day-to-day tasks you can do so you can take steps closer to it, and evaluate your process.
Believe me, you will make more progress this way than constantly comparing yourself to others who have the same goal as you or who already have the goal that you aim for.
6. Acknowledge Your Success
This was something I was struggling with before because I kept comparing myself to those who already got what I want.
In your journey, it’s very easy to feel disheartened if you’re still not in the place where you want to be yet despite your efforts.
This feels even terrible when you start comparing yourself to people who are way ahead of you.
One of the best ways to stop this comparison is to acknowledge your progress and your success (may it be big or small) and start looking at those who are ahead of you as an inspiration instead of competition.
When you focus on other people’s success, you will always end up feeling like you’re not enough or you’re not doing enough.
But if you acknowledge your success, it motivates you to do more because it signals your brain that you’re making progress.
You also feel more fulfilled and more enthusiastic to improve your work and do your best.
And for me, nothing feels more amazing than this.
7. Compare Yourself to Yourself
I know I already mentioned this before but it’s worth mentioning here and I would probably mention this over and over again in some of my upcoming blog posts because I can’t stress how important this advice is especially for millennials like us.
Each of us was born differently.
We have different genetics, different upbringings, different experiences, different access to resources, and different influences so it’s impractical to compare yourself to someone who is a completely different individual.
So the only best thing that you can do is compare yourself to yourself only.
Make an evaluation of the old version of yourself or the kind of person you were 5 years, a year, a month, or a week ago and compare him/her to the person you are today.
Are you better? Or are you worse?
Then make a necessary analysis of how you can become a better person.
If the old you read 1 book a month, try to read 2 books a month.
If she took 1 course every 6 months and implemented what she learned, take 1 course every 3 months and take massive actions.
This kind of mindset shift can give you more control because you can decide on what kind of work you want to do and what kind of outcome you want to have.
When you compare yourself to others you have zero control of everything and it will only leave you feeling restless.
Final Words
In a world where it’s very easy to have access to the lives of other people through social media, you have the power to stop comparing yourself to others.
In addition to these 7 ways that I share with you, I want to remind you that you are talented, gifted, and unique in your way.
Cultivate your gifts because the world is craving for you to share them.
There’s no use in comparing yourself to others because your individuality will be the one7 who will fulfill your purpose in the world.
